Wednesday, December 17, 2008

ARTSO: Live Action, Action Oriented

Watch This Opening

Visuals: Very interesting. I like the digital interface spazzing out to make a 24, showing that time is rather important to the series. It's short and sweet and makes a lasting impression. 13/15

Audio: Well, there isn't much of a theme tune to speak of. The sound effects work rather well with the visuals despite not being immediately recognizable (although, paired with the visuals, they are). 10/15

Mood: This show feels like a suspense thriller, which it was in the first season. I'm not sure about later seasons, though. 4/5

Information: Really, none. The clock is important, and I can tell the style, but as for the premise, I'm not sure. However, maybe this is all the information that's needed. 3/10

Want to Watch: I feel I would need more information before I decide to watch the show. It is kind of neat that the credits don't get in the way of the action, though. 2/5

Overall: 32/50

The 6 Million Dollar Man
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Visual: The footage wasn't too great, but once they got to the operating table, it was quite interesting. The images showing what was being replaced were well done. 9/15

Audio: Not much for the sound, but the monologue is pretty memorable. "We can rebuild him." 8/15

Mood: This is a show about an amazing person doing amazing things, right? 5/5

Information: So, Steve Austen was caught in a plane crash and almost completely killed. However, scientists were able to replace most of his parts and make him a much better human than he was before. This show is about how he uses those abilities. 9/10

Want to Watch: Could be fun. It didn't really pull me that much. 4/5

Overall: 35/50

The A Team
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Visual: It was okay. Mostly just shots from the show. I would have liked to see more explosions. 7/15

Audio: That song is pretty catchy. I think I might find myself humming on the street one of these days. 11/15

Mood: The music felt epic. I think there's going to be a lot of action in this show. 5/5

Information: We get the back story and we're told that these people are soldiers of fortune. The credits introduce us to each of the actors as well as giving the names of a couple of the characters they play. There's a little personality shown, but not that much. 7/10

Want to Watch: eh. This one is so-so for me. 3/5

Overall: 33/50

Watch This Opening

Visual: There's a little bit of action along with the vector style graphics of the time. Nothing that really stands out, but it's respectable. 6/15

Audio: Sounds like Wendy Carlos and Mannheim Steamroller got together. It's got a beat, but it's a little bit bland. 7/15

Mood: The show is about a helicopter. 4/5

Information: The show is about a helicopter. That's all you really need to know. Although they do introduce characters and Ernest Borgnine is a drunk. 6/10

Want to Watch: Not especially. 2/5

Overall: 25/50

Watch This Opening (I'm going to judge them all as one. There are differences in later seasons, but it's still not enough.)

Visual: The word ALIAS is spelt out letter by letter with swirls and flashes in the background. The later seasons add cast images and clips from the show, which helps in the information category, but kind of takes away from the coolness of the season one intro. 10/15

Music: Doesn't have much of a melody, but it's still recognizable and kind of cool. 9/15

Mood: Since Alias is one of those shows with lots of plot twists, I think it kind of fits. 5/5

Information: Like I said, the first season had absolutely none. Later seasons added cast shots. In the fourth season you see the main character in many different disguises, showing how the show got the name "Alias" in the fifth season you get to see the other characters. I don't really see much of their personality or their relationship to each other, though. 7/10

Want to Watch: I'm still lukewarm about it. I may someday. 3/5

Overall: 34/50

The Avengers
Watch This Intro

Visual: Very interesting and well shot. It really gives that kind of gentleman spy feel, although it does break one of my rules. If your supposed to be super competent, don't reveal that you can't wield a sword or fight properly, especially in the opening credits. Really, he looks like a little kid who just saw a kung fu movie. 9/15

Audio: Nothing much. It fits, but that's really all it does. 7/15

Mood: As I said in the Visual category, it fits. 5/5

Information: There are two people that seems like they are supposed to be debonair. The woman is good with a gun. The man has a sword in his umbrella (which he looks just awkward holding. Give the guy some lessons). 7/10

Want to Watch: Could be fun. It feels very sixties. 4/5

Overall: 32/50

Babylon 5
Watch This Opening

For now, I'll review the entire run as one. I know it changed from season to season and at some point it changed enough that it was significantly different, but for now, I'm not sure how to deal with this.

Visual: Clips from the show and cast shots. The shot of the ship from the outside is pretty neat looking, though. 8/15

Audio: The monologue changes narrators, but the dialogue is for the most part a rearranging of the different soundbites. The music is okay. 7/15

Mood: Seems to fit pretty well. 4/5

Information: The premise of the show is given (in most of them) and characters are introduced. That should be all you need. 8/10

Want to Watch: If it comes on and nothing else is on I might give it a chance. 4/5

Overall: 31/50

Battlestar Galactica (1978)
Watch This Opening

Visual: Somehow, everything about this opening really really reminds me of Star Wars, it's like they ripped everything off from that. That doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be awful, but I'm not sure if I could watch this while thinking of Star Wars the entire time. As for the visuals themselves, they went with a kind of tunnel-vision effect, which is okay and kind of interesting. It doesn't really work for me, though. 6/15

Audio: A lot like the Star Wars music, except without that memorable a melody. 6/15

Mood: An epic space opera, right? 4/5

Information: There are battles. IN SPACE. There are spaceships. IN SPACE. There's Richard Hatch, Dirk Benedict and Lorne Greene.


IN SPACE! 6/10

Want to Watch: As I said before, I'm afraid I'll be thinking of Star Wars the entire time. 3/5

Overall: 25/50

Bionic Woman
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Visual: Did they reuse image from The Six Million Dollar Man? It started off promising, but with the reused images and the still photos as cast images, it turned out to be rather bland. 5/15

Audio: Completely bland in every way. I really don't like that sound effect. 3/15

Mood: This is supposed to be a kick ass action series, right? This opening was way off. 1/5

Information: Jaime Sommers, a former tennis pro and current school teacher had a chute malfunction while falling, so they rebuilt her. They had the technology. Better than she was before. Better, stronger, faster. It's a rehash of Six Million Dollar Man with a woman. 8/10

Want to Watch: Seems kind of boring. 1/5

Overall: 18/50

Buck Rogers
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Visual: This looks like a low budget sci fi series. That's probably because it is, but I'm just saying. I'm probably more likely to laugh than be amazed by it. 6/15

Audio: Repeated Orchestral Chord. Repeated Orchestral Chord. Here's something fun. Try saying that in tune to the melody of the theme at the beginning. The monologue didn't really have anything that stood out or was entirely memorable. However, the Repeated Orchestral Chord had some small charm to it. 6/15

Mood: I'm prepared for a lot of Narm while watching this. 4/5

Information: Buck Rogers was piloting a deep space probe for some reason, when he got sucked into a time vortex for some reason. Said vortex takes him, unharmed for some reason, 500 years into the future for some reason, where, for some reason, everyone is still human and speaks English for some reason. What he does there is not said for some reason. 6/10

Want to Watch: It's a maybe. 3/5

Overall: 25/50

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Watch This Opening

Visual: Mostly clips from the show. At least they're decent clips this time, although nothing really stands out here. 7/15

Audio: Starts off as horror music, then kicks into a rock rhythm. While I don't care for the track too much, I know why it was done. This is not your typical horror series (why did I try to type that word with a "wh"). It laughs in the face of most conventions of horror films and TV series and revels in what it does. The horror music being replaced with rock is supposed to match that idea. 8/15

Mood: Read previous paragraph. 4/5

Information: Buffy kills vampires. Okay, there's a little more than that. You get to see the characters and get a little bit of their personality, but relationships aren't really established that much. 6/10

Want to Watch: eh. 3/5

Overall: 28/50

Charlies Angels
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Visual: They tried for an interesting motif with the silhouettes and multicolored backgrounds, but it just doesn't flow that well. The rest is shots from the show. 6/15

Audio: I didn't find the song that interesting. It wasn't bad, just not interesting. 6/15

Mood: This doesn't feel much like an action series, or a spy series. 2/5

Information: Three women, all of whom can not run are taken out of police academy by Charlie. They then spend their time running around awkwardly and posing awkwardly. 6/10

Want to Watch: Pass. 1/5

Overall: 21/50

Dark Angel
Watch This Opening

Visual: I like it. There were a few interesting shots and action. The interest was maintained throughout even though part of it seemed like clips from the show. At least they chose good clips. 11/15

Audio: Some of the sound effects were rather interesting. The music track felt flat, though. 8/15

Mood: There was a little bit of intensity there. 4/5

Information: The main character, who is either super powered, a clone baby, or a kid trained by a secret organization from birth goes around and kicks a lot of ass. 7/10

Want to Watch: I'll give it a chance, then probably drop it after two episodes, but it gets a chance. 4/5

Overall: 34/50

Dukes of Hazzard
Watch This Opening

Visual: Clips from the show. I think they decided on the wrong clips as well, but I'll get into that with my information category. 4/15

Audio: A nice lazy folk tune. Fits well enough. Doesn't stand out. 7/15

Mood: Some stunt driving, but this doesn't feel really action packed. 2/5

Information: The Duke brothers, a couple of jerks with no respect for authority go around terrorizing a small country town, especially the chief of police there. They never see any repercussions from their criminal acts nor show any remorse for committing these crimes. There's also a woman who's just as bad or worse. Are we really supposed to be rooting for these guys? 5/10

Want to Watch: No. The moral dissonance will get to me. I just know. 1/5

Overall: 19/50

Watch This Opening

Visual: Mostly clips from the show. They're put under this filter which does provide some interest, though. 7/15

Audio: It's an interesting blend of styles. Sci fi electronica mixed with movie soundtrack, add a bit of beat boxing and Mediterranean singing. It fits together well and sounds unique. 9/15

Mood: Space epic. 4/5

Information: I know there's narrative later. So this guy gets caught in a wormhole and interacts with the blue skinned people and Muppet aliens on the other side. Any attempt to get home is thwarted. 7/10

Want to Watch: I'd need to see some of the show before making a decision. 3/5

Overall: 30/50

Watch This Opening

Visual: Cast shots and clips from the show. There's a little bit of action there, but I think they might have been able to get better cast shots. 8/15

Audio: A western style theme song. It's sort of ballady, but it fits rather well. 9/15

Mood: Western Action! IN SPACE!!! 4/5

Information: It's a space western with lots of action. We get to see the characters, but I don't know a lot about their personality or roles. 6/10

Want to Watch: Not sure. There's some action there, but I don't really know that much about the quality of the show. 3/5

Overall: 30/50

The Fugitive

Hawaii Five-O
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Visual: Scenery, scenery, scenery, cast shots, scenery people and more scenery. Granted most of this scenery is from Hawaii, which should count for something. 7/15

Audio: Yeah, the song is great and memorable. 11/15

Mood: It's good times in Hawaii is what it is. 3/5

Information: We are in Hawaii. There are people in Hawaii. There are Women in Hawaii. There are Asians in Hawaii. There is an actor named Zulu! 4/10

Want to Watch: I'm on the fence about this one. 3/5

Overall: 28/50

Hercules Legendary Journeys
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Visual: Clips from the show, but at least these clips fit the monologue. 7/15

Audio: There was nothing really interesting in the monologue or the music. 6/15

Mood: Heroics and more heroics. 4/5

Information: Hercules is strong and Hera hates him. Got it. Also everything else from the monologue. 9/10

Want to Watch: I'm on the fence here. 3/5

Overall: 29/50

Watch This Opening

Visual: The Earth rotates around and turns into a solar eclipse as the title is displayed on the screen. Who cares if it has no relation whatsoever to the show. It looks cool. 9/15

Audio: The sounds, however, leave something to be desired. What are they going for here? It's not really suspenseful or dark. It just seems flat. 3/15

Mood: Danger Will Robinson. 3/5

Information: None. Nothing Zip. 1/10

Want to Watch: What am I watching? 2/5

Overall: 18/50

Watch This Opening

Visual: I like the shot of the main character walking toward the camera slowly. It's a nice image. Everything else is just clips from the show, though. 7/15

Audio: The rock track was kind of average. The voice at the beginning was okay. 6/15

Mood: The opening monologue fits. I'm not sure about the second half of the credits, though. 3/5

Information: The show's premise is explained. It's a constant battle between the main character and evil immortals. You know who he is and how he can die. 8/10

Want to Watch: Maybe. 3/5

Overall: 24/50

The Incredible Hulk

Watch This Opening

Visual: The clips they chose worked for the most part. It did look a little cheesy, though. 7/15

Audio: Narrators don't appeal that way unless they have fun things to say or are really good narrators. TV shows could work a bit more on visual storytelling. 5/15

Mood: Who cares about all this suspense and "running from the man" stuff? I wanna see Hulk Smash. 3/5

Information: The Incredible Hulk is the Incredible Hulk and what an Incredible Hulk he is. He smashes things his skin turns green. Maybe he has a skin condition. 7/10

Want to Watch: I'm not going to go searching for it. 3/5

Overall: 25/50

Knight Rider
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Visual: We see the car driving. It drives down the street. There is more of the car. Driving. Driving. DRIVING INTO A TRUCK! Driving. David Hasselhoff. 6/15

Audio: It sets up something really cool, but doesn't go anywhere. If they actually did something with the music it would be a great theme song. Also is it just me or does the narrator seem bored? 7/15

Mood: This doesn't strike me as a suspense series. 3/5

Information: A man who doesn't exist can still effect the world. David Hasselhoff, who for some reason is non-corporeal protects the innocents of the world thanks to a car, which is apparently the only thing in this world he can interact with. Whether it's dimension hopping or because the Hoff already died, I'm not sure. 7/10 (yes, I intentionally misinterpreted the monologue)

Want to Watch: .. 2/5

Overall: 25/50

La Femme Nikita
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Visual: Visually, there's not a lot that draws me in. None of the images look too attractive or interesting. Also, it's clips from the show. It doesn't lazy to me, but I found my mind wandering, which is pretty bad for credits that are less than a minute. 4/15

Audio: It was too bad. Interesting in its own way, but it doesn't stick with me. 6/15

Mood: Suspenseful spy drama. Plus sex. 4/5

Information: The main character is an Action Girl. 4/10

Want to Watch: I say "no." 1/5

Overall: 19/50

The Lone Ranger
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Visual: The Lone Ranger Rides On A Horse! And for generations the image becomes part of our consciousness. Oddly enough, people don't automatically think of The Lone Ranger every time they see someone riding a horse. 10/15

Audio: William Tell Overture. A whole generation of TV watchers can't separate this melody from the show. I guess public domain songs do work as TV themes sometimes. 11/15

Mood: It doesn't really set that much of a mood actually, unless you're in the mood for horse riding. 2/5

Information: Heigh-Ho Silver! A horse riding hero rides a horse. He also shoots from a horse's back. He's that cool. Although, since this is an older television series, none of those bullets ever hit anybody. 7/10

Want to Watch: I'm sure way back when this got children to leave the dinner table. 4/5

Overall: 34/50

Lost in Space

Mac Gyver
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Visual: Clips from the show. Seeing Macgyver work things in close up was kind of fun, though. 8/15

Audio: It's interesting, and doesn't drive you away. However, it doesn't pull that well either. 7/15

Mood: Macgyver is an action hero, except not, except really he is. 4/5

Information: Macgyver punches. He kicks. He hangs from helicopters with the strength of his arms. He's rather fit. He's also a little geeky, but we're not holding that against him. 8/10

Want to Watch: I'm half and half on this. 3/5

Overall: 30/50

Magnum PI
Watch This Opening

Visual: Clips from the show. They weren't very good clips, either. 4/15

Audio: The tune was okay. They could have done so much more with it though. Make it exciting. 7/15

Mood: I suppose it works for an action series. 3/5

Information: Tom Selleck is a P. I. who deals with criminals. 5/10

Want to Watch: no. 1/5

Overall: 20/50

Miami Vice
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Visual: A lot like Hawaii 5-0. Shots of Miami, city of fast cars and fast women. Actually, that's not true. It's really a city of old people, but we aren't showing that because who wants to watch old people. 5/15

Audio: It doesn't appeal to me. I know there are quite a few people who like this theme, but I can't get into it, and don't see it as being that memorable either. 6/15

Mood: Where's the crime fighting? 3/5

Information: The show takes place in Miami. This is Miami. Miami is nice isn't it? Plot? What plot? 5/10

Want to Watch: No. 1/5

Overall: 19/50

Mission Impossible
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Visual: Clips from the show and cast shots. While the match line serves to tie the credits together, it's still a bit disappointing. 7/15

Audio: One f the greatest themes ever made. 14/15

Mood: Action! Adventure! Espionage! 5/5

Information: This is an action series about supposedly impossible missions. However, the fact that they have a regular cast seems to suggest they succeed every so often, making the missions not so impossible after all. 5/10

Want to Watch: No, actually. 1/5

Overall: 32/50

Watch This Opening

Visual: There's interest there. The images are combined with cast shots. There's an obvious color scheme in the background as well, using mostly black and white formulas to get the message across. 10/15

Audio: It's an okay monologue, but did they really need to put a delay on it? It doesn't really add anything in my opinion. 7/15

Mood: Math saves the day! 4/5

Information: This show is about math, and how we can apply math to situations where you wouldn't think it could be applied.. But it can! 7/10

Want to Watch: I'm not turned away. 3/5

Overall: 31/50

Power Rangers

Prison Break

She Spies

The Shield


Star Trek


Walker Texas Ranger

The Wire

Xena Warrior Princess

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